Porn Writer Has Existential Crisis

I’ve felt for a while that I need a change in direction. But, like all big changes in direction, it’s been difficult to work out exactly what that’s going to be.

Maybe you’ve read my happy memories of an ex camgirl, which tells the story of the first great career love of my life, webcamming.

I hung up my camming shoes in 2019 to focus on my website, FanCityX, which I built stary eyed, imagining it was going to become the TMZ of porn. What it turned in to was a semi successful Google-charming project for the adult industry.

The priority was that I wanted traffic and attention for my website, and it turns out the best way to get traffic and attention from Google is to write listicles. You know the ones? “Ten Hottest MILFs In Porn. Number 3 Will Amaze You.” And so, chasing traffic, I went full Buzzfeed.

Somewhat unsurprisingly, the more listicles I wrote, the more I hated writing them.

I can imagine even the most unambitious writer would grow to hate writing listicles eventually. I did my best with it, and I still feel like I managed some pretty entertaining attempts on this style of article. But by 2021, I was desperate for side projects. That was when I created

I registered channels at Pornhub, Xvideos and Xhamster for my audiobooks. Pornhub and Xvideos are still active under the UnrealityErotica name. At that time, Xhamster shut me down with a three word response to my content; “this isn’t porn”.

I guess you just don’t get me, XHamster.  

I was going to write porn for UnrealityErotica, and it would be the best porn I could write. No more uninspired slogging for a search engine algorithm. I’d keep it short, under 2000 words, so no one needed to spend too long to get the kick they needed. I’d get my creative outlet, and maybe a few people would pay attention and like what they were reading.

Some of my first orgasms were over beautifully written erotica and fanfiction. I wanted to be able to create those experiences for other people, or at least try. Also, I was single and I wanted an outlet for my fantasies where I could be hypersexual and as weird as I wanted. The ability to put a fantasy down on paper was a great way to lose reality for a bit and get back to my camgirl self, who I was missing.

Sadly, I got a couple of stories under my belt before the guilt of not writing for FanCityX, which was actually making me money, grew too large. The project fell by the wayside. That was until last month, when I had another wake up call. A few disruptive things happened in my life and I realised I was profoundly unsatisfied with where I was.

Did I really want to be writing listicles for the rest of my life? And was that sustainable? What was the best-case scenario for FanCityX? The idea of continuing in this direction terrified me enough to reconsider my options.

I test drove a few directions and ideas in my head, and some of them made it as far as the experimentation phase. I built out as a directory site for cuckold porn and created some content to encourage people there. I even made a gaming channel.

But my thoughts kept coming back to Unreality Erotica, which despite a few years on the back burner was attracting the odd click here and there. The audiobooks I’d uploaded to Pornhub weren’t doing badly either and I’d attracted mostly positive comments.

I excitedly sensed potential, but fear held me back. Do people even still read erotica? I did some research. It turns out, they definitely do.

So, now to present day. I present to you my new baby project, Here’s what I’ve been up to the last few weeks.

I renamed the website

There were a few reasons for this.

The most important being I didn’t want to be hemmed in or be prevented from mentioning my work wherever I felt like. AnythingErotica could close some doors. That’s a phrase that can go anywhere.

Of course, I want to write porn stories. But also, I want the option to talk openly about my life, porn, sex and things around that. The adult industry is front and centre in issues of online anonymity, privacy and censorship. And I’d like to write about those things too.

I wrote more porn

A lot of porn. And I loved writing it.

I feel like I’m still hitting my stride, but I’ve had enough positive feedback to feel like people enjoy my stuff. I cannot tell you how good a feeling that is.

My writing focus is still not where I want it to be, but it’s getting there.

I partnered with Premium.Chat to offer roleplay, sex chat and online domination

One of the phases of my camming era I particularly loved was when I was doing text chat on AdultWork. Some of the stories I’ve written are directly inspired by roleplays I did while I was working there.

I wanted the opportunity to get back to that and play directly with other people. At first I was worried I was going to need a calendar and to keep a set schedule, but Premium.Chat will take care of all that for me.

I considered writing exclusively femdom stories, and then decided against it

I love femdom scenarios.

And while being unsure about how to set up my new project, it occurred to me it might be easier to specialise in femdom scenarios. Cleo Sussex would be a femdom writer, exclusively. After all, I love the content.

By focusing on femdom, no one is going to follow me and accidently stumble across a kink they’re not in to.

But I decided it was most important to keep my options open to express myself. I’m not exclusively dominant. I love the role but it’s not everything that turns me on.

I’ve got a lot of exciting things planned for the month ahead. I’m aiming to have a few stories for sale with Gumroad by the end of June, and to keep growing my Xvideos and Pornhub channels.

I hope you’ll follow me on Twitter, and keep coming back for my stories.

With love, Cleo xxx

These Camgirls Want To Cum

1 thought on “Porn Writer Has Existential Crisis”

  1. It resonates so much to read this.
    I’m not following the same paths regarding the porn and audiobooks, but I feel I’m in the exact same place regarding where you’re at on your personal journey.
    I recently started embracing venerability, self worth, and have also been making positive strides forward by creating a site, sharing my story, and embracing it as a journal.
    Reading your entries and the way you articulate feels like I’m reading my own thoughts, and hopefully your openness and venerability is inspiring others, in the same way that my journal seems to be.
    Keep doing what you do, feel free to check out my site, or not, just keep doing what you love and continue generating everything you deserve.

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